


You Put Your Arms Around Me (and I'm home)

by DC_bookfanatic



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DC_bookfanatic/pseuds/DC_bookfanatic
Summary: After a close call, words fly and things are said. Upstead fic!
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 5
Kudos: 115





	You Put Your Arms Around Me (and I'm home)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!!  
> I am so sorry for taking this long to get a fic out after I've been hinting for a while! I have several others in the works and I hope to have them out within a timely manner and then start on some other prompts I have received. If you sent me a prompt, I promise it is on my 'to write' list, I just haven't had much time/inspiration but this global quarantine will help me out some! I'm hoping to get a lot written...including some rhekker fics if you are a rhekker shipper as well! I really hope you guys enjoy this small one-shot, it was really fun to write! Especially the beginning. I also hope you don't find Jay and Hailey to OCC becuase I'm still getting used to writing them!  
> Love you guys and stay tuned for more upstead fics! They are coming! 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own any OneChicago things/stuff
> 
> P.S. Also, the tile is taken from Christina Perri's song 'Arms'. I love this song and it kind of matches upstead. I just thought it was a good tile for this fic!

“What the hell, Jay!? What were you thinking?”

Jay slammed the door to the back room, throwing his hands in the air, “What was _I_ thinking? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was doing my job like I always do! I don’t need your help.”

If looks could kill, Jay would have been dead thrice over. Her eyes were shooting fire where she stood in front of him, arms crossed tightly over her chest, knuckles white from clutching her hands in a fist.

He probably would have been turned on if he wasn’t so angry himself.

But he could still see that shooter in his mind’s eye, aiming his gun at a distracted Hailey and he still felt the terror that he might not be fast enough as he threw caution into the wind, tackling her to the ground, the bullet just skimming his ear. He could feel it burning and he was almost certain if he reached a hand to it, there would be blood--it was that close.

But he would do it again and again and again if it meant that Hailey was safe.

“Hailey, that guy could— _would—_ have killed you!”

His voice was full of raw fear, but she didn’t seem to notice because she threw her hands on her hips in frustration. Probably trying to avoid punching him he thought.

“I had a vest on!” She fired back.

“It was close range; it could have gone through or he could have shot you in the head!” He was practically growling, and he had to refrain himself from yelling.

Because his heart was still pounding in his chest. Because he was still as terrified as he was when he thought she was about to get shot and he threw himself at her. Because the thought of **what if I hadn’t made it** kept running through his head.

Could she not see that? Did she not know how much she meant to him? That he wouldn’t be able to function if she were killed? That if he hadn’t of jumped when he did, she wouldn’t be standing in front of him; that they wouldn’t be having this conversation?

“You don’t have to protect me, Jay! I can take care of myself!” She cried, taking a few steps towards him.

He set his jaw, gesturing in frustration, “The hell I do! I’m your partner. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe.”

_And I wouldn’t be able to live without you._

“Oh! Well, that’s rich coming from you seeing as how you just jumped in front of a _bullet_!” Hailey snapped, throwing out an arm angrily.

“Yeah, to protect _you_.”

She shook her head in exasperation, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, “But you’re _my_ partner. I’m supposed to watch your back too but how can I do that if you keep jumping in front of bullets!?”

Jay rubbed a hand across his face, clearly aggravated, “What do you want me to say, Hailey? I’m sorry for saving your life? That I’ll never do it again?” He gave her a hard look, “Because that would be a lie.”

Hailey was so upset; she barely registered his words or comprehend what they could mean as she took a few more imposing steps towards his formidable form, “Not at the expense of your life, Jay! You _just_ took a bullet,” She buried her face in her hands, before throwing her arms out to the side, “I can’t go through that again!”

She took a breath, her voice raised with fear and stress, “You’re always acting before you think and one of these days it’s gonna get you killed and then what? What am I supposed to do then!?”

“This is the job, Hailey. You know I can’t stand idly by and watch people get hurt! You especially!”

“Well how do you think I would feel if that bullet had hit you!?”

“But what if it had hit you!? I’m sorry if protecting you gets on your nerves, or makes you think that I think you can’t take care of yourself—because I know you can, but you didn’t see that guy. You weren’t paying attention. You were trying to get those plates on that car and you almost got shot so I did what I had to do to prevent that.”

Hailey shook her head violently. Mad at him for not seeing how scared she was when he fell on her, memories rushing back.

_I thought he was dead._

How frantic she was when she tried to roll over to pat him down, to make sure he hadn’t gotten shot again. How terrified she was in that split-second of him not moving on top of her.

_She thought he was dead._

He had it all wrong. She wasn’t mad at him for protecting her, she was terrified that he’d so recklessly put himself in harm’s way to protect her.

“Do you think I care about that!? I know you trust me; I know you have my back but I’m furious that you’re willing to sacrifice yourself to protect me. It terrifies me that you’re willing to get yourself hurt for my sake because I would _never_ be able to live with myself if _you_ got killed protecting me—or anyone else for that matter. Don’t you see, Jay!? I need you alive so why would you ever throw yourself in front of a bullet just to protect me!?”

They were face to face now. Hailey was so close to him she could feel his hot breath and smell his spicy aftershave mingled with clean sweat.

“Because I love you, that’s why!” He shouted back in frustration; his muscles coiled up with tension.

Hailey didn’t allow enough time for his words to sink in or for her to think about what she was about to say before she was yelling back, “Well, I love you too! Why do you think I’m so upset that you almost got _killed_ trying to save me!?”

The room fell silent, their heavy breathing loud as the tension from the last few months rolled off of them in waves, pulsing between them. Their eyes were locked, saying all the things that they’d been trying to say ever since Kelton. Ever since the hospital. Fire and passion in both their gazes.

And then he was kissing her.

Hot and heavy and desperate as the sexual tension that had been surrounding them for months, that they had been dancing around for months, came to a head at last.

And it only took Jay almost dying twice and her almost dying once for them to act upon it.

She was sweating and every gasp she took was filled with Jay. He was all around her, smothering her, finally, finally holding her.

Her hands were under his shirt, fingers curling into his well-defined muscles as he pressed kisses down her neck and under her jaw, his arms holding her firmly against his hard chest.

Time was non-existent. It was just them in the world, everything else had faded to fuzzy colors.

It wasn’t till Jay’s hands travelled to the clasp of her bra that they both realized what they were doing, tearing away from each other as if they’d been electrocuted.

The minutes ticked away as they stood staring at each other, chests heaving and eyes wide, stuck in a shocked trance.

A door slammed in the distance. Gazes tore apart and towards the noise that startled them both, reaching for guns out of instinct before shoulders relaxed and their eyes met again.

“Hailey—I…”

“Jay—I…”

They spoke at the same time.

Jay’s adams apple bobbing as he took a couple of hesitant steps towards her and Hailey felt frozen, a sudden urge to throw up assaulting her because their actions and words were just starting to catch up to her.

“Hailey, I love you and that’s why I jumped because I love you—” He was closer now and she still hadn’t moved, her mind racing at a hundred miles per second but she could feel the apprehension coming off of him in waves and could see the hesitation in his steps and she knew it was because of what she’d said, what had just transpired between them.

She hadn’t meant to say it. And she as sure as hell hadn’t expected Jay to say it so she wasn’t really sure what to do or say other than stare at him and wish he wouldn’t stand there looking at her like that or keep repeating that he loved her. She had enough to sort through without his eyes making her have heart palpitations.

But she could read Jay well enough to know that he was having the same thoughts except he was trying to do something about it. He was a man of action who always wore his heart on his sleeve whether he wanted to or not in all situations, including this one.

Were they so out of sync that they were so apprehensive about their feelings for each other? That they were really so shocked that all those looks and late-night talks and trust had turned into something more?

Or maybe it was because they both had failed work-place romances and didn’t want to chance it a second time. Because they thought that it maybe wasn’t worth the effort to find out if they could work.

But she knew it was more than that. That it went much deeper. That a friendship like theirs was priceless and in between all of that pushing and support and those late-night drinks and the smiles and laughter, the stakeouts and undercover assignments and shoot-outs and all of the trust and affection it all led to this. To now. To something so undeniable there was no going back.

It was because they were both terrified to lose the best thing that had ever happened to them.

But Hailey took one look at him and she knew, in her bones, that this was it. It was or never and for the first time she just knew that he was it, no matter how scared she was to mess it up and the excuse that Jay may not feel the same preventing her from telling him how she felt was non-existent because he loved her.

He loved her.

“And I should’ve told you before because I’ve loved you for longer than I think I’ve even realized,” Jay was almost toe-to-toe with her now. His hand drifted up towards her face and she held her breath when he briefly paused before gently tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

“I wanted to tell you at the hospital,” Hailey blurted, finally getting her throat to work, “Because I love you too. And I finally realized it when you got shot and we thought you might not make it.”

She felt tears pricking her eyes and she tried to swallow them back because she wasn’t one to cry in front of others, but she knew Jay seemed to be an exception. He seemed to be an exception to all of her boundaries. He was the only one she felt truly comfortable being vulnerable with.

Hailey tentatively rested her hands on his chest as she looked up into his perfect green eyes, “But that phone rang and I just…It just reminded me of how close you came to dying and I didn’t know if I could do it again. Open up my heart in a way I haven’t in a very long time and risk our partnership because what if you didn’t feel the same or what if another Angela Nelson comes along and you end up getting hurt again or worse.” Her heart was beating fast and her stomach was sinking just thinking about it.

Jay had that familiar crinkle above his eyebrow; the one he always got when trying to work through something whether it be a difficult case or something that had affected him emotionally, “I can’t promise you that I’ll never get hurt again—protecting you or trying to help another Angela Nelson or just doing my job.” He looked at her with that same pleading look, wanting her to understand, “You know me. You know how hard it is for me to let anything go and I’ve gotten better,” He smiled timidly, “Because of you.”

He licked his lips, taking a breath, “But what I can promise you is that I’ll always be here. Always. And I promise to try to tell you all of the things that I keep buried.” He hesitated, “You just have to give me time because I’m still working through a lot of stuff. And when something happens, if I need to help somebody else, I promise to tell you, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop.”

“Oh Jay,” She shook her head, slipping a hand up to cup his cheek, “I don’t want you to change. Helping that family,” She smiled despite the worry lines she was sure were etched in her forehead, “That’s what makes you a good person. A good cop and I would never want to change that about you.” She shook her head, “Just maybe try to be a little more careful and maybe tell your partner who loves you very much about the things she should probably know in order to save your ass. Okay?”

Jay chuckled, his arms moving to hold her torso, hands resting loosely on her lower back, “I promise.”

“So, now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, what does that mean for us exactly?” He rocked on his feet nervously and she appreciated the fact he wasn’t assuming anything even though she was pretty sure she had made it clear to what she wanted.

Hailey grinned, her eyes sparkling, “Whatever you want it to mean, Jay Halstead.”

The apprehensive look on his face melted into a smirk and she felt him tighten his hold on her, “Well, in that case, Hailey Upton, will you go out to dinner and have a drink with me?” She raised an eyebrow and he chuckled, amending, “And I mean ‘have a drink’ in a romantic way, trust me.”

She snuggled further into his strong chest, even daring to place her head over his heart. The steady rhythm was reassuring as she finally let out the relieved sigh she’d been holding in ever since Jay fell on top of her, “Jay, I really thought you were dead this time and the last,” She closed her eyes, tightening her grip, thankful she was allowed to hold him to provide herself with comfort that he was still there with her. Her voice broke, “And the last time. So, at least promise me you won’t do anything stupid to protect me.”

Jay’s hands came up to cup her face, forcing her gently to look at him as his thumbs lovingly caressed her cheeks, “Hailey, I can’t promise that because I can’t lose you,” He shook his head and she was slightly surprised to see tears gather in his eyes.

True, she wasn’t a crier but in the few years of partnership, Jay had seen her cry more than she had seen him actually shed tears so she knew how much this mattered to him, “I would protect you a hundred times over even if it cost me my life because when I look at you,” He swallowed hard, his eyes fluttering shut, “When I look at you, and I just love you—It terrifies me of what I would do if something happened to you.”

Hailey blinked back some of her own tears. She couldn’t believe this man that she had secretly loved for the past few months was standing in front of her, telling her that he loved her so much that he would give his own life for hers. And she was also terrified because that was almost what happened today which prompted this whole love confession, but she couldn’t help but think that if the worst had happened, they would have never been able to tell each other these things.

So, she did one of the bravest things she’d ever done. She showed him everything in her heart.

“Jay, we gotta make this work,” It was practically a whisper, but she saw him, and she knew he was ready. That he wanted it all. That he would do what he needed to do to keep it all. “We can’t leave anything unspoken. There isn’t any room for it in this job. In life.”

She licked her lips, “Because this is it Jay. This is it for me. You are it and maybe that’s crazy to say but I’ve been your partner long enough to know, been in love with you long enough to know. So, if you’re serious and if you’re really ready, then we both have to put in the work. We can’t let this job or misunderstandings, or past mistakes get between us,” Her eyes were filled with tears and her voice was breaking with raw emotion, “We can’t be another failed workplace romance.”

She knew she probably sounded desperate, but she was. Now that these barriers had been broken down, the floodgates had opened, and she figured it was either all or nothing. And Jay was her all. She knew that now.

“Because what we have…I’ve seen and been in enough relationships to know that this,” She looked directly into his eyes, “This is special and I’m not losing it without a fight because it’s not everyday you get to fall in love with your best friend.”

Hailey took a deep breath, “So Jay, you have my heart.” He had never seen her so vulnerable and beautiful and strong as she looked in this moment and he could hardly believe what she was saying to him. He never thought he would deserve a love like this. Especially from another partner he’d fallen head over heels with. He’d thought that all of his chances had been used up. Her lip trembled and Jay had to do everything in his power not to kiss her, “Please don’t break it. I don’t think I could survive it.”

“Hailey…” It was barely a breath. His hand ghosting up and down the side of her face ever so softly. There was so much he wanted to say but he was struggling to find the words because words just didn’t seem to cut it. “I don’t deserve you…” His eyes fluttered closed as his fingers tangled in her long, blonde hair, “But. God Hailey, I’m gonna do everything I can to be the man you deserve because I would be an idiot to pass this up because I feel…” He swallowed hard, “I feel the same way and there isn’t enough words or time to ever say all the things in my heart.”

“But I want to try. And you know I’m not the best at opening up, but I promise, I’m gonna try,” He opened his eyes and they were shiny with unshed tears, “Because I never want to break your heart. I’m privileged to have it; I can’t believe I have it and I don’t intend to lose you as long as you’ll have me.”

As Hailey stood there, in the arms of the man she’d cared for and loved far longer than she’d ever realized, she couldn’t believe that the day had started out so normally. A normal call when everything went to hell as it usually did and then Jay was jumping on top of her.

And then she was scared and frustrated and then she was yelling at him and he was yelling back and then they were kissing. And now they had laid themselves bare and her life was never going to be the same again. And it was terrifying and exhilarating and overwhelming all at the same time.

She knew there was a lot more to discuss and work through and she knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park with both of their emotional baggage and equal stubbornness but for now, she would take his promises because she could see in his eyes how dedicated he was to this, to them, and that was enough for her.

It was quiet in the back room, filled with guns and drugs and Hailey and Jay. Standing so close, sharing each other’s breath and saying the things they couldn’t quite put into words through their eyes, just like they’d always done.

And that’s when they realized that this moment was the inevitable.

Hailey hadn’t ever put much stock into destiny or fate. Those things didn’t have a place in her job. Her life was black and white and grey. There was right and wrong and good and bad and innocent and tainted and a whole lot of unfair but she’d seen good outcomes and glimmers of hope and she’d seen people turn their lives around, as rare as it was, to believe in one path set in stone.

But as she stood there, Jay’s head bending down to kiss her again--this time, soft and sweet and slow-- she believed in fate and she believed that she and Jay were meant to find each other and she just somehow knew, deep down, that despite all the obstacles she was sure would be in their way, that they were strong enough to overcome anything and they were going to be partners—at work, at life, at everything--for a good long while.

Because here, in Jay’s arms, she was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo...How was it? I would absolutely love your feedback! Like I said in my first A/N, I hope they weren't too out of character. I never watched PD before season 6 so I'm not really sure what 'relationship' Jay looks like so I just tried my best. Once I have a little more experience writing these two characters, I hope it comes off a little more like the show versions, if that makes since. Also, once we get canon upstead (because we will--and no one can convince me otherwise!), it will show me more how to write them together. It's a little easier to write Hailey but still, trying to get the whole balance right. Besides, I'm not the greatest at writing love confessions but I hope this one turned out all right!
> 
> Review and follow! Much love! And stay healthy ;)


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